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[IC contact post]
I am too busy with cool important stuff to take your call right now! Leave a message and I will probably call you back. Maybe.
I am too busy with cool important stuff to take your call right now! Leave a message and I will probably call you back. Maybe.
Well, well, wellllllll. Look what the freakish giant seahorse dragged in! Lol.
Eri Ampora, reducing himself to grovelling at my feet for the scraps of inform8tion I might 8e willing to give him. How increeeeeeeedi8ly unexpected.
8ut I suppose it is appropri8. What with me 8eing the most knowledgea8le person around here, and also considering that I am 8asically the leader of our soul8ond group since Karson 8it the dust.
I guess I should em8race my responsi8ilities and give you some help! Since you asked so contritely, as 8efits your st8tion. ::::)
Anything particular you have in mind, my lowest and stupid-haired-est of su8ordin8tes? Or should I just tl;dr at you indiscrimin8tely?
Eri Ampora, reducing himself to grovelling at my feet for the scraps of inform8tion I might 8e willing to give him. How increeeeeeeedi8ly unexpected.
8ut I suppose it is appropri8. What with me 8eing the most knowledgea8le person around here, and also considering that I am 8asically the leader of our soul8ond group since Karson 8it the dust.
I guess I should em8race my responsi8ilities and give you some help! Since you asked so contritely, as 8efits your st8tion. ::::)
Anything particular you have in mind, my lowest and stupid-haired-est of su8ordin8tes? Or should I just tl;dr at you indiscrimin8tely?
wwhat part of "dont make this awwkwward" did you not read?
honestly im not evven surprised but can you at LEAST not make this utterly insufferable
seriously
i can just go elsewwhere and hope for the fuckin best if thats wwhat this comes dowwn to because i am NOT degradin myself
honestly im not evven surprised but can you at LEAST not make this utterly insufferable
seriously
i can just go elsewwhere and hope for the fuckin best if thats wwhat this comes dowwn to because i am NOT degradin myself
Calm your tits! Wow. I said I'd help, right????????
Helpfully and 8enevolently. And we 8oth know that if you had any other REAL options you would have gone elsewhere already! So suck it up.
I actually remem8ered some stuff a8out you l8ly, just fyi. And not ALL of it was a8out how much 8etter than you I was!
Helpfully and 8enevolently. And we 8oth know that if you had any other REAL options you would have gone elsewhere already! So suck it up.
I actually remem8ered some stuff a8out you l8ly, just fyi. And not ALL of it was a8out how much 8etter than you I was!
benevvolent my fuckin ass but fine
spill the beans wwhat do you remember about me?
and it better not be some fuckin garbage either i knoww wwhen youre spewwin nothin but masturbatory garbage at me
spill the beans wwhat do you remember about me?
and it better not be some fuckin garbage either i knoww wwhen youre spewwin nothin but masturbatory garbage at me
It takes mastur88tory gar8age to KNOW mastur88tory gar8age! 8OOM. Ice 8urn out of nowhere.
8ut ok! I still don't remem8er MUCH a8out you, what with you 8eing so incredi8ly dull and unimportant. 8ut my latest memory did mention you! 8riefly. Dismissively.
Sollux was there. And Aradia, 8ut unlike every8ody else she wasn't dressed up all pir8tey like. Possi8ly 8ecause she was the 8iggest party pooper who ever existed! Who knows.
ANYWAY. Sollux said that you were "the douche who 8linded him" (lol) and that the ghost part of him was sharing a sprite 8ody with you. Whatever that means.
My working theory is that it is what happened to me and Tavros! Which means that sprites are glowy floaty 8lue things that explode.
Man. A lot of things sure did like exploding around Vriska. No innuendo. May8e that was my endearing character tr8? Things would explode and 8its of me would fall off and every8ody would 8e like "that's our Vriska!" Whatever.
Then I said some stuff a8out how it was a shame that Gamzee (who I guess is the same person as Gam????????) prototyped your torso parts. Which makes no sense! Unsurprisingly, 8ecause nothing ever DOES in this clusterfuck of 8izarre unconnected events. Seriously. The day I remem8er something that I can actually interpret and/or doesn't cut off at an infuri8tingly dramatic moment is the day I have a heart attack and fucking die. What is context? Our past lives sure don't know!!!!!!!!
Ugh. Man. Just thinking a8out it gets me all steamed.
Where was I? Right! Right. I ALSO talked a8out how I used to OWN YOU during our nautical campaigns all the time.
And no8ody argued! Which 8ascially proves that in the eyes of Aradia, Sollux, John, Less-Hot-Vriska and Pinky-Fishtrident I WAS 8ETTER THAN YOU.
Some things never change, right? Lol.
8ut ok! I still don't remem8er MUCH a8out you, what with you 8eing so incredi8ly dull and unimportant. 8ut my latest memory did mention you! 8riefly. Dismissively.
Sollux was there. And Aradia, 8ut unlike every8ody else she wasn't dressed up all pir8tey like. Possi8ly 8ecause she was the 8iggest party pooper who ever existed! Who knows.
ANYWAY. Sollux said that you were "the douche who 8linded him" (lol) and that the ghost part of him was sharing a sprite 8ody with you. Whatever that means.
My working theory is that it is what happened to me and Tavros! Which means that sprites are glowy floaty 8lue things that explode.
Man. A lot of things sure did like exploding around Vriska. No innuendo. May8e that was my endearing character tr8? Things would explode and 8its of me would fall off and every8ody would 8e like "that's our Vriska!" Whatever.
Then I said some stuff a8out how it was a shame that Gamzee (who I guess is the same person as Gam????????) prototyped your torso parts. Which makes no sense! Unsurprisingly, 8ecause nothing ever DOES in this clusterfuck of 8izarre unconnected events. Seriously. The day I remem8er something that I can actually interpret and/or doesn't cut off at an infuri8tingly dramatic moment is the day I have a heart attack and fucking die. What is context? Our past lives sure don't know!!!!!!!!
Ugh. Man. Just thinking a8out it gets me all steamed.
Where was I? Right! Right. I ALSO talked a8out how I used to OWN YOU during our nautical campaigns all the time.
And no8ody argued! Which 8ascially proves that in the eyes of Aradia, Sollux, John, Less-Hot-Vriska and Pinky-Fishtrident I WAS 8ETTER THAN YOU.
Some things never change, right? Lol.
[Aaand a few moments for the echos to settle...]
wwell that
certainly jogged something
fuck gamzee wwhoevver that fuck is
also i kind of recalled blindin that sollux guy wwith some fuck awwesome wwhite flashy powwer
i can kinda do that shit noww but to a lesser extent and i admittedly dont got the control ovver it i wwish i did
but as for you kickin my ass in flarpin i recall you bein a huge fuckin cheater or somethin so at least your wwinnin wwasnt anythin fuckin LEGITIMATE
but yes go on about braggin ovver shit thats totally illegitimate if that helps your fragile ego
[The rest he'll... keep to himself. Yes.]
wwell that
certainly jogged something
fuck gamzee wwhoevver that fuck is
also i kind of recalled blindin that sollux guy wwith some fuck awwesome wwhite flashy powwer
i can kinda do that shit noww but to a lesser extent and i admittedly dont got the control ovver it i wwish i did
but as for you kickin my ass in flarpin i recall you bein a huge fuckin cheater or somethin so at least your wwinnin wwasnt anythin fuckin LEGITIMATE
but yes go on about braggin ovver shit thats totally illegitimate if that helps your fragile ego
[The rest he'll... keep to himself. Yes.]
Ugggggggghhhhhhhh so whiny.
If I cheated then o8viously you couldn't STOP me cheating! Which means I was 8etter than you at 8ending the rules and 8eing sneaky and pir8te-like and cool.
It is like you were the weenie commodore guy from Pir8s of the Cari88ean and I was Jack Sparrow. Only with 8etter hair and personal hygiene.
Aaaaaaaanyway. Echoes!
I already hit you with the name 8om8. 8ut do you remem8er the Demon?
Aranea? The white text guy? Lord English?
The strange orange stalker human?
If I cheated then o8viously you couldn't STOP me cheating! Which means I was 8etter than you at 8ending the rules and 8eing sneaky and pir8te-like and cool.
It is like you were the weenie commodore guy from Pir8s of the Cari88ean and I was Jack Sparrow. Only with 8etter hair and personal hygiene.
Aaaaaaaanyway. Echoes!
I already hit you with the name 8om8. 8ut do you remem8er the Demon?
Aranea? The white text guy? Lord English?
The strange orange stalker human?
Octavia. Remind me again, what do you know about this big crazy bad guy we were supposed to have been fighting? Mr. British or something?
LORD ENGLISH! God.
He was incredi8ly evil. And destroyed universes, and it was my jo8 to find him and stop him somehow. Something to do with ghosts! And their unfortun8 deaths.
I also recently remem8ered that my post-death piracy was in pursuit of him! I was talking a8out how we were acting as88 8ait and leading him on a chase through our spooky afterlife place.
While he used his monster 8reath to 8low shit up! What a dick.
Do you remem8er him too now? Is that a thing????????
He was incredi8ly evil. And destroyed universes, and it was my jo8 to find him and stop him somehow. Something to do with ghosts! And their unfortun8 deaths.
I also recently remem8ered that my post-death piracy was in pursuit of him! I was talking a8out how we were acting as
While he used his monster 8reath to 8low shit up! What a dick.
Do you remem8er him too now? Is that a thing????????
Can you be more specific? Which spooky afterlife place? What was the monster breath?
I don't remem8er!
There was this whole thing a8out how the afterlife was hard to navig8? Every time I remem8er it it looks different.
And I don't remem8er seeing the monster 8reath firsthand! Unless it was the 8ig green explosion I remem8ered forever ago. All I know is that it was incredi8ly destructive and that it could shatter cracks in spacetime! So OP.
There was this whole thing a8out how the afterlife was hard to navig8? Every time I remem8er it it looks different.
And I don't remem8er seeing the monster 8reath firsthand! Unless it was the 8ig green explosion I remem8ered forever ago. All I know is that it was incredi8ly destructive and that it could shatter cracks in spacetime! So OP.
[The next response comes about five minutes later, after Danny's had a small hyperventilating episode. Thank god for autocorrect on phones, because with the way he's shaking right now, there's no way he can type accurately.]
I know who he is, Tavia. I remember everything about him.
I know who he is, Tavia. I remember everything about him.
Look, Tavia. It's me. I'm Lord English. Or, I was.
I'm not kidding, Tavia! That 'monster breath' thing you mentioned? I can do that! I did it to the crab in Vegas! I wasn't always him but I remember what happened, I remember how I became him.
I'm Lord English.
I'm Lord English.
No, I know, Octavia, just
something really bad happened, alright?
something really really bad happened with past me and I went from being, you know, me, to...that.
something really bad happened, alright?
something really really bad happened with past me and I went from being, you know, me, to...that.
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