drama8om8 | [IC contact post]

May8e those monsters were metaphysical represent8tions of your sins! SINS YOU 8N'T REMEM8ERING YET.
I don't remem8er killing monsters! Uh, except my mom.
If we were co-Jesus, was she your mom too? Do you remem8er a huuuuuuuuge-ass white spider?

I AM PRETTY SURE WHATEVER VERSION OF ME EXISTS OUT THERE, I WOULD NOT BE OKAY WITH SLAVERY.
THAT'S JUST FUCKKKKED WAY UP.
SLAVERY IS NOT JESUS APPROVED.
NOT AT ALL.

BUT UH
NO, I DON'T REALLY REMEMBER A SPIDER?
DO YOU THINK WE WERE SIBLINGS??
CO-JESUS SIBLINGS THAT WERE SOMEHOW PART HUGEASS WHITE SPIDER?

In my defense, they weren't Spinneret's slaves. She stole them from the Dualscar guy!
And then 8oinked them to make him mad. 8|

8ut if you don't remem8er the spider........
May8e like. We were co-Jesus si8lings separ8ted at 8irth?
And you got raised as legit Jesus and I was raised 8y my spider mom!
Then we found each other and h8ted one another at first and then learned that to 8e the very 8est Jesuses we could 8e, we would have to com8ine our powers and work together to 8ecome the ULTIM8 JESUS.

DON'T FORGET OUR ULTIMATE DESTINY AS PIRATE FAIRY JESUSES.
BUT BESIDES THAT
FUCK, WOW, OKAY, I THINK YOU JUST NAILED IT.
THAT FEELS RIGHT?
BEING CO-JESUS SIBLINGS SEPARATED AT BIRTH.
AND IT EXPLAINS THE SPIDER THING, TOO!
AND
WOAH, WE MIGHT HAVE BEEN PRETTY BADASS??
I'M KINDA IMPRESSED RIGHT NOW.

How can I forget the destiny when I am LIVING it? 8)
Your wings should come through already. Can we instig8 that somehow? Like if you see my wings will your 8rain 8e all "OH SHITTTTTTTT" and give you them 8ack????????
8ecause it would 8e pretty hard for any8ody to deny that you are Pir8 Fairy Jesus if you are like. Already a fairy. You gotta look the part, 8ro.
........Wow calling you 8ro seems weird now. I mean. You could 8e my LITERAL 8RO. Trippy as 8alls.

YEAH, LET'S TRY THAT.
THE WING THING.
SIS?
DO I CALL YOU SIS NOW?

Idk. Do we even count as 8rother and sister in this life????????
Lol afaik we could actually 8E si8lings. Ask your dad if he 8oinked Tara Serket like 17 years ago or whatever. I will enclose a picture!
Oh my god w8 if we're si8lings I
I SEXY-TALKED AT MY 8ROTHER.
I CHECKED OUT
MY 8ROTHER'S
8UTT.
New policy: no8ody eeeeeeeever speaks of potential past-life 8uttcest ever again oh my god I h8 my life.

[ Attached are a selfie featuring Octavia's dumbass wings and this image. ENJOY ]

I ASKED MY DAD AND SHOWED HIM THE PICTURE.
HE YELLED AT ME INCOHERENTLY FOR AN HOUR.
I DON'T KNOW IF THAT WAS A YES OR A NO.

OH MY GOD YOU FORCED ME TO COMPLIMENT YOUR BUTT MY OWN SISTER THIS IS SO FUCKED UP!?

Ok ok no. No! This is fine we are fine.
Altern8 si8lings don't count! At all.
If your dad knocked up my gross mom THEN this is kind of fucked! 8ut he totally pro8a8ly didn't so we are FINE.
F I N E.

I don't mean fine as in "damn you fine," 8tw. Just regular type. No 8romo.

NO BROMO.
NO MOTHERFUCKIN BROMO.
EVEN IF WE AREN'T REAL LIFE BROTHER AND SISTER, NO BROMO.
WE NEED TO MAKE A DEATH PACT OR SOMETHING.
NEVER TO HIT ON EACH OTHER EVER AGAIN.
OR MOCK HIT ON EACH OTHER.
THAT'S ALSO UNACCEPTABLE.

I don't think you realise how devast8ting the loss of 8eing a8le to mock hit on you constantly is going to 8e to me.
Like I am already kind of getting withdrawal symptoms here.
I H8 8eing co-Jesus. >8C

BEING A JESUS IS HARD, MAN.
IT'S HARD AND NO ONE UNDERSTANDS.
BUT WE MUST PERSEVERE.

8luh. As long as we 8n't got to die for THESE assholes' sins I guess I can deal.
(And if we do then I QUIT.)

YEAH, I DON'T THINK I'D BE OKAY WITH DYING FOR ANYONE, REALLY.
IS THERE, LIKE, A FATE THING INVOLVED HERE?
OR DO WE GET FREE WILL???
I REALLY HOPE WE GET FREE WILL.

Of course we get free will!
Do you seriously think that there would ever have 8een awkward-in-retrospect comments a8out each others' 8utts if f8 were involved in this?
That PROVES that we have free will! THERE. 8uttcest now served a purpose and we can feel significantly less horrified a8out it forever while we concentr8 on not dying for any8ody no matter what.

I DON'T KNOW...
I MEAN, WHAT IF FATE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE HILARIOUS THAT WE WOULD MOCK HIT ON EACH OTHER?
AND UNIRONICALLY TALK ABOUT EACH OTHER'S BUTTS???
WHAT IF WE HAD FREE WILL, BUT WE MADE THE WRONG CHOICES, AND NOW WE HAVE TO FOLLOW FATE TO OUR SELF-SACRIFICING DEATHS?!!?!

Oh my god stop.
Imagine, for a moment, that you are a8solutely right! And f8 has plans for us to join hands and wear shitty sandals and ro8es and then die.
I want you to imagine how infuri8ted and ragey Alan would get.
I also want you to picture the scary-ass face your cutie 8estfriend would make.
Can you reeeeeeeeally picture any f8 standing up to their com8ined terrifyingitude? Especially considering we would also 8e fighting against this f8 as shoutily as possi8le? ;D

OKAY, I'LL BUY THAT.
I'LL BUY THAT BECAUSE OUR COMBINED FORCES OF SHOUTINESS SHOULD BE ENOUGH TO OVERCOME ANY AND ALL OBSTACLES.

Exactly. We have some fucking Dragon8orn shit going on here.
*Jesus8orn.
Fus ro messiah!!!!!!!!

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