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I am too busy with cool important stuff to take your call right now! Leave a message and I will probably call you back. Maybe.
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and also me, dang i took my sweet time with thisa good long while to write the rest of this, partially because it's a long and convoluted memory, and partially because he's kind of afraid of actually writing it down and telling it to someone else. It makes it seem a lot more...inevitable.]My ghost half got split from the rest of me and went berserk. He (I?) merged with another ghost and then killed the rest of me and went on this crazy rampage to destroy everything in his path. Both in the normal world and the Ghost Zone.
A lot of people and ghosts were killed. And a lot of it was with that screaming attack--it was called the 'Ghostly Wail'.
It matches up with everything you've said about Lord English to me.
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It h8ppened to Sollux too. The splitting. Not the "omg I am now a super evil universe destroying murderous fuck" 8it.
Oh god.
Oh man.
Oh god. Oh man. Oh god oh f8ck oh man!!!!!!!!
Can we like. Glue the ghost 8it inside you? May8e wrap you in tape so it can't ever get spl8t off????????
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...but it didn't seem like the split was easy to make, either. It only happened in the first place because of these clawed gloves that dug into me and pulled ghost-me out. I don't know if there's actually a way for the split to happen otherwise.
I don't know what the safest thing to do here is.
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Except I guess that 8n't going to help if you just echo 8ack the whole 8it where you are a terrifying murderfiend who just wants to destroy everything and every8ody ever.
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Maybe I should just try and avoid anything that might ever give me another pulse.
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(I am joking.)
(I mean you could just poof on out of there anyway, let's 8e real.)
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These things are so unpredicta8le. Unpredicta8le and irrit8ting and a pain in the ass.
8asically we have to treat you like a ticking TIME 8om8.
(That was kind of a pun or a joke or something! 8ut if I explain it then you might get all echoey off it. So just fyi it was totally funny and witty and gr8 and it lightened the mood here considera8ly. Got it?)
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So, what, just keep going about my day as normally as I can? Stick to a strict schedule of "school, then home, then never talk about my past life with anyone ever again"?
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I mean if you never talk a8out your past life shit ever again and you hulk out anyway, every8ody except me will 8e completely unprepared for the destruction and devast8tion you will inevita8ly inflict on all of us.
Not to mention that I don't even know how I killed him/you yet!
God. Who knew that 8eing self-appointed leader came with all this responsi8ility.
Do you know what kind of pressure you have put me under with this terri8le and dangerous secret of yours????????
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And you pro8a8ly shouldn't try TOO hard not to turn into one, just fyi. I mean thinking a8out it too hard might make it happen.
8ut you shouldn't stop trying altogether! O8viously. You should try EXACTLY THE RIGHT AMOUNT.
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And how do I even try the right amount? What does that MEAN?
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I'll calm down. I'm calming down now.
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8ecause lying is pro8a8ly another thing that files under evil.
Is this whole deal a thing we should tell other people a8out? For safety purposes.
(That question is not some kind of test to divine whether or not you are evil.)
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For now, I think I'm normal. I mean--shaken up and terrified, yeah, but I'm normal. I don't want to kill or hurt anyone or anything. Hopefully, nothing will happen and it'll just stay a bad memory. And I don't want to cause any panic if I don't absolutely have to.
...But if I start just killing random people or laughing maniacally or doing any other weirdly evil stuff, then yeah, it might be a good idea to mention it then.
I trust you, you have a good sense of what's evil and what isn't.
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Well. Yeah! My evil-senses are top-notch. I guess. I mean 8eing a one-woman evil-sensing machine is no 8ig deal. You know how it is.
So I will 8e a8le to keep an eye (get it? ONE EYE????????) on you for evil tendencies all 8y myself! What with me 8eing so awesome.
And we are cool now even if it was my past life-and-death's work to elimin8te you! So it 8n't like you are putting me out or whatever. What are friends for. ::::)
(This means we are even for all the pants kid stuff 8ack when, though.)
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Thanks, Tavia. You're actually not a half-bad leader.
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