drama8om8 | [IC contact post]

Say, I know this is out of the blue but I've got something to ask you about. You mentioned you've had a pretty serious run in with the mafia guys, right?

Sure! If 8y "a pretty serious run-in" you mean "they totally fucking murdered one of my 8est friends and turned his dog into a monster and F8CK THOSE GUYS IN THE EAR."
Why?

That's exactly what I mean. Sorry I know it's probably not the best thing to talk about but.. I kinda attacked one of them. I'm trying to figure out exactly how fucked I am.

Holy shit. I would estim8te that on a scale of "fucked" to "really super fucked" you are somewhere around "more fucked than the winner of the 2014 Hooker Olympics."
Unless you echoed 8ack cool powers! Or are so famously 8adass that no8ody would dare touch you (like me).
The fuck happened?

My "super cool power" is bad decision making and an aggression streak a mile wide. Wish I'd echo back some self control but I don't know if the asshole I was had any of that. Well geat, come up with a good hooker name for me, would you? I'd like to sound cool when I end up in the papers. They hit the coffee shop while I was there, I lost it. Went after the first one through the window, left a nasty gash on him but that's about it. Managed to get ahold of myself enough to get out of there but... I don't exactly blend in that well, you know?

I would suggest Fire8rand Lustsicle for your hooker name. It sounds appropri8 AND references your aggressive n8ture! You are welcome. ::::)
8ut ok. Do you got a place to hide? Somewhere to crash where no8ody would look for you?
I would offer my place 8ut

[ her past-life giant spider mother is living in a cave under the basement ]

I got rel8tives st8ying over.

I don't know if they know anything about Richard yet. I'm hoping not I don't want him getting dragged into this bullshit. I was gonna take off but he's not too happy about that idea. That's a good one, if I make it through this I might get it tattooed above my ass. Nothing says classy like a tramp stamp.

[Maybe we can feed the mafiosos to her?]

Edited (grammaaaarrrr) 2014-07-20 16:56 (UTC)

Then Richard sounds like a cool guy. Even if he has a dum8 name!
You don't run away from shit like this. You prepare for it! You make a8solutely sure that if they come after you then you are ready and not some defenseless chump in a Ron Paul shirt who gets himself murdered.
A8sconding doesn't work! You have to get 8adass.

(And just fyi the classiest loc8tion for a tattoo is on the 8ack of your neck. I should know!!!!!!!!)

Yeah, he's pretty cool. I'm not so good at the preparing thing, tucking tail and running like a coward is more my style, sorry to say. But I guess I don't have much choice anymore. The asshole whose brain overrides mine at the worst goddamned times doesn't know what running is, so I'm stuck whether I like it or not. Man, I'm not ready to be badass. Can I take a class, does anyone offer badass school around here? (Do you have one there, is that why you say that? Besides that name is a little long to go on my neck.)

Sounds to ME like you need to unleash your inner asshole!
Trust me. I used to 8e kind of a wuss too! 8ut then whenever 8ad shit happened I would ask myself: What Would Vriska Do?
And now I am HELLS of 8adass. No schooling needed! The trick is to throw yourself into as many dangerous situ8tions as possi8le without thinking a8out the consequences. It works at least 88% of the time!

(And yes. I got it when I got drunk Vegas teen married. Pretty gr8 night.)

How'd you get to where you remembered what Vriska would do? I mean, I've been a little slow on the remembering stuff, far as I can tell. You know, that almost sounds like good advice if it weren't for the highly suicidal parts of it. I'm not so sure I'm ready to die horribly, you know? I kinda like living? Those are pretty good odds but still 12% death rate. (Why am I not surprised by anything you say anymore? It's like bizarre just pours out of your mouth [text?] like water.)

Well. Pretty early on I remem8ered that she was a pir8! A pir8 who wasn't scared of anything. I kept remem8ering all these terri8le things happening to her 8ut she never got scared!
Like she had to kill mom. HER mom! N8t my m8m. 8ig gi8nt spid8r. Hells of gross.
And I remem8ered her losing an arm and an eye in an unfortun8 explosion. And then I remem8ered her 8leeding to death slowly. Pretty tough 8r8k!
She was always so unafraid a8out it. It was kind of intimid8ting and shit until I realised that if she was me, I didn't have to 8e afraid of things either. I could 8e just as 8adass as she was.
So I started ACTING 8adass, using the acting skills that I have 8ecause I am an actress. And 8efore I knew it I didn't even have to act any more!
So you got to do the same thing. Tap into your past life asshole's hero mojo and fake it until you make it!
If the 8ad guys don't think you are afraid of THEM, they will 8e more afraid of you. And that's what you want!

(I live an interesting life, ok! Not 8IZARRE. Interesting! Interesting and exciting and awesome.)

I don't remember what my past self was. I mean, he apparently had a sword? And a gun, and I did remember he stood up against a mafia himself and wasn't afraid... Kind of part of why I bull-rushed in there like a goddamned idiot actually. Wait, hang on, her mom was a giant spider how does that even work? And that is gross, no thanks. So what you're telling me is I need to up my bullshitting game until I can bullshit myself into believing my bullshit? Bullshit-ception? Hardcore. (It's pretty bizarre. Good bizarre though, I think I came to the right person with this.)

If he had a sword and a gun and wasn't scared of mafia assholes then he was a 8ADASS. And that is all you need to know!
Do YOU have swords and guns? 8ecause if not then you should GET them. You might remem8er more stuff!

And the spider adopted her I guess. 8ut she's definitely my mom.
*WAS definitely HER mom! Haha.
The guy who got murdered was totally my past life 8rother, and he don't remem8er a spider. So we figure we got separ8ted when we were 8a8ies or something.

And you missed the most important part of 8ullshitception! Which is the part when you 8elieve it so hard that it 8ecomes TRUE.
You 8ehave like a 8adass and do 8adass things and then realise that if you do 8adass things, you ARE a 8adass!
It's pretty gr8. ::::)

Badass, a little insane, small details. I've got the sword, but no guns. Where would I even go to get something like that? They don't exactly hand them out to minors as far as I know. Spider mom... your mom? Don't get your wires too crossed, this shit's crazy enough without us starting to forget who we are, you know. How the hell would a giant spider even raise you? Man, fairies sure are weird. Heh, that's gonna be the hard part. Convincing myself. I can put on an act every now and then, but convincing myself? That'll be harder.

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